Life

Release

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In the post, “Guard Your Heart,” I ended saying, “We all have something we can do, in order to better protect our hearts and guard our love.” I chose to find a way to do just that. I have been practicing releasing and forgiving with intention. I noticed one of the main reasons why I “react” to certain situations is because I have not clearly communicated and worked through my feelings. Below, are a few ways I chose to try as I am journeying through this part of the healing process.

*Please Take Note: I lend these only as suggestions for self-awareness in healing. These tips are not to take the place of professional therapy. 

 

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Release the Guilt
-Releasing the guilt is forgiving ourselves. It allows us to let go of the pain we are feeling and prevents us from believing that we are unworthy of forgiveness.
“I forgive myself for ________.”
Release the Anger                                                                                                                Releasing the anger we may have for someone or something can be very difficult. Something that has helped me in this is realizing that we all have battles we are facing, whether we know what they are or not. Just as I am working through past hurts and obstacles, the other person also has experiences they have and are still working through. Holding on to the anger creates a burden on your heart. A burden you should not carry. Releasing the anger ultimately grants you freedom from the pain.
“I forgive (said person or thing that has hurt you) for (what effect the person or thing did).”
Reflect                                                                                                                                              Forgiveness is major part of the healing process. There is no measured time of how long it will take. As you are moving through, reflect on these questions: What emotions do I feel from past hurts? What led me to make the choices I made, good choices and lessons? Why am I affected by these events that have happened in my past? What healthy boundaries must I create to protect my heart? How do I clearly communicate these boundaries to others?

I’d love to hear your suggestions of self-forgiveness and creating boundaries. Drop a comment below.

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Life

Guard Your Heart

There I sat, on my bed, once again…in tears. The rush of emotions and feelings on top of the deadlines approaching, seemed to pile on all at once. And now there’s one more thing to add! The end of a relationship. I sat in confusion over how the whole day spiraled down and the last thing I said in the midst of my frustration, “You don’t appreciate me or what I do. I’m tired of feeling this way. I don’t feel valued. I don’t feel appreciated.” The rush of emotions flooded my mind. Did I really mean to?

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Death Valley National Park & Goldwell Open Air Museum Nevada, USA

I believe this has been the hardest lesson for me to learn, guarding my heart. Letting go of people and things that are no good for my soul. I forgive over and over and over. My heart tells me, people deserve many chances, as you have been given many chances in life too. Even this time, I offered to try again and knew deep down, I shouldn’t have. Some of you are probably saying, “You should’ve known.” But is that truly the response we give to someone who is learning, living, and loving?

I’m flawed.
I’m still lovable.
I’m still deserving.
I’m still worthy.
All of those put together make me beautiful.

IMG_0241This time was different. I didn’t choose to see all of his faults. Parts of us fit together so perfectly. This was our second time giving “us” a try. But when situations happened and I was deeply hurt, it’s like the pain was never truly healed and trust was lost. But I was told to “carry on” and “it’ll pass when you choose” without ever truly having the time to. I allowed pieces of me to be damaged by his emotional struggles. I ignored my own needs, wants, and boundaries. In order to make him feel better about himself, I started to let go of pieces of me. My passions, my creativity, my character, my heart. I realize he didn’t protect my heart with gentleness and care, yet I still stayed. It was those damaged pieces of the puzzle, which made it hard for us to reconnect. I felt like I couldn’t express my hurt freely and over the past few months of being all bottled up and not heard, I released.

IMG_0247I wasn’t crying about the relationship ending. I cried because of those final words. I cried because I finally released every feeling I had held inside. As the rush of emotions continued on, a feeling crept up inside me. A feeling I never felt before: GUILT. I could go on and on into detail about this story, but the story is not what I care for you to know…It’s the lesson.

“Above all things, guard your heart. For everything you do, flows from it.” -Proverbs 4:23

IMG_0245We must not change the parts of ourselves that we hold so dearly. We must love ourselves so passionately, that if someone comes along to try and diminish that love we have of ourselves, we immediately block that negativity from our hearts. I allowed my heart to be hurt and did nothing about it. That’s where the guilt came from. Knowing how much I once took care of myself and protected myself, but not doing anything this time. I don’t want that for you. I’m no longer allowing that for me. You know? The guilt. We can recognize how we are responsible for the hurt, but we must forgive ourselves in order to move forward.

Whether it be the audition we didn’t go on because we heard someone else “better” was going to be there, so we talked ourselves down and out of it. The negative comment someone made about something you worked really hard on. The fear of moving somewhere or traveling to a different place because we’re told we will be lonely. The diet we don’t do such a great job of sticking to. Perhaps, like me, allowing people who do not deserve to feel our light, throw their shade. This time I’m laying the hurt and pain out on the table, praying for strength and patience as I am going through the healing process because now is the time. Now is the time to love me. Now is the time to heal my wounds. Now is the time to honor my space.

We all have something we can do, in order to better protect our hearts and guard our love, as this is a must.

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Inspiration

loving little things.

A wall: Paris on Ponce- Atlanta, GA

I’d like to celebrate all of the beautiful wall art displayed all throughout Atlanta.

Design

A coffee shop: Bad Owl Coffee- Henderson, NV

I left my wand at home, but when you carry magic with you everywhere, you figure, this coffee stirrer will have to do. Besides, this coffee shop is now on my list of faves, as they carry food. Pictured here: A Biscoff Latte that tastes just like the cookies.

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A message (to give my future husband): Recess- Las Vegas, NV

Because everyday deserves a “happy ending.” Oh! And please let my future husband know the “Ways to My Heart.”

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A window: “We Welcome All” a West Elm

I think this window says it all.

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